I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
