i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.