yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend