I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!