Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.