he shaved USA in his pubs
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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