she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
