So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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