A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize