for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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