but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize