Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
