Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
