Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
