So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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