are you still at the devil's house?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
