its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
