You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
