I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
