Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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