i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
