He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
