just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
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i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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