There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
