Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
