Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
