normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
