I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
