this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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