Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
