i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
