The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
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you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
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New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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