We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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