i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
