I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
