I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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