its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
wanna go halves on a baby?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
