weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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