I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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