sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize