:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
