fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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