My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
