i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
