addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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