Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
