Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
