I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
