finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
