There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
