considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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