I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
