I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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