ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
