dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
