Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize