If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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