i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
