They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
