I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
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She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
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On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely