what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?