Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
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I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now