This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
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The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
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We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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