So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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