He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
