I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
