hotel room ftw
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
