I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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