just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
