He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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