ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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